Centipede © jpockele
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Next time you stay up at night worried about nuclear holocaust, or global warming, or the return of Quetzalcoatl, relax by taking a look at some of the incredibly painful weapons that are manned by the insects crawling all around us. From Cracked:
The speed of the mantis shrimp’s punch is delivered at some 50 mph. Keep in mind the shrimp is doing this in water. If you’ve ever stupidly wrestled with friends at the beach, you realize how your devastating roundhouse winds up moving in slow motion as you slosh through the surf. Think how strong you’d have to be to punch through the water as fast as a moving vehicle….In captivity, the shrimp have been known to punch through aquarium glass, totally fucking up people’s rugs. In fact, the punch of the mantis shrimp is so fast, it actually lowers the pressure of the water in its path which–conveniently for a badass sea-ninja who fancies some pre-cooked crab–boils the water around the punch. Steven Seagal’s probably only done that once or twice at best
and
Like any centipede this one is earth bound. But rather than sticking to an easily attainable centipede diet of insects and the occasional cast member from the film Willow, this species has instead refined the art of catching bats in flight. Yes you read right: it catches fucking bats in flight. Shit.
By climbing the walls of bat-caves, the centipede is capable of suspending its body from an overhang and holding itself there, waiting for its unsuspecting prey to pass by. From this seemingly prone position, they’ve been seen snatching bats nearly twice their own size. To fully appreciate how awesome that is, look at the next fat dude who passes you at CostCo. Imagine trying to hang from your feet and catch him. Now imagine he’s flying and you have to hold him for two hours until you’re done eating him.
These are some bas ass bugs.