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In what is somehow not a practical joke to show just how far people will go to appear cultured, First Floor restaurant in Berlin now offers water sommelier Jerk Martin Riese (yes that’s his real aptonymous first name) to help patrons pair their wines with appropriate artisan water. From Der Spiegel:
They have just been warming up for the occasion by tasting a particular variety of gourmet spring water, whose label claims that it has been “bio-energetically charged.”…The water tasting begins. First there is Norwegian spring water. It tastes soft. Then Tasmanian rainwater. It also tastes soft. “Buttery,” says one of the guests. “Almost oily,” adds the sommelier.
God forbid any of the varieties taste, you know, “watery.”
But apparently the Berlin population just doesn’t provide enough vapid expressions of cultural superiority for Mr. Riese to take his career to the next level. He’s headed to what will undoubtedly become the water sommelier capital of the world: Los Angeles.