German Beer on a Beach © Richard Cawood
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Sure, Soviet communism had its downsides, but it was damn good at keeping Germans skinny, naked, and on the beach, which is something some nostalgic Germans are starting to miss. From MSNBC:
The naked sunbathers who once crowded Germany’s Baltic beaches and city parks are becoming an endangered species due to shifting demographics, the fall of the Berlin Wall, growing prosperity and widening girths.
According to Brigitte, a retired dental assistant, things used to be better:
“In East Germany, there were a lot more people with attractive physiques…But with the rise in prosperity a lot of people have come apart at the seams and they can’t show their bodies in public anymore…It’s not really very aesthetic anymore.”
Brigitte said she misses the East German era when entire beaches and camping areas were packed with nudists.
Apparently, all of this capitalist prosperity has led to an overabundance of unpleasant luxuries like clothes and food. But it’s not just the money that’s causing the nude beaches to disappear, according to Kurt Fischer, the president of Germany’s Free Body Culture, it’s the sudden drop in the birth rate:
“It’s better that we shrink in a controlled fashion..than to try to stay bloated” he said.
He’s talking about the shrinking demographics of the ethnic German population. I hope.